IT'S A BOY!

22 weeks and feeling kind of huge!

The weeks are flying by now; everything has been so busy lately and shot through with excitement. I like to plan ahead so we've already made a lot of changes to our second bedroom to get it ready for its new lodger, and it's sinking in more every time I look at myself in the mirror and feel little nudges while I'm doing dishes. We're having a BABY. Those nudges are one of my new favourite feelings in the whole world. He is a really active little guy and loves to greet us in the morning with huge bumps and kicks. He gets tired after I eat but is usually moving the rest of the day. I love feeling him bop around in there.

I can't believe we are having a BOY! I had a secret hunch that wasn't very strong, but more a niggling in the back of my mind. My whole life I pictured having a girl first, but a month or two ago I started to get the feeling that maybe what we think we want isn't always what we need or what's right or what's best for us. I think I've just had an irrational idea that since I grew up a girl, I know a little better how to raise a girl. Maybe it's fear; I don't know. Truthfully I expected to feel a tiny bit disappointed for a moment upon finding out, if it turned out to be a boy after all—but all my worries were for nothing. At first I mainly just felt like laughing! He made himself super obvious at our ultrasound and it was shocking and funny in the best way. Right after I didn't feel anything but SURPRISED and so, so excited. Over the moon elated. Right after that I got a stomach virus and spent a few days in bed. At the same time he started kicking and rolling with more intensity and Andy was able to feel him kick for the first time while I was confined to bed recovering. Those moments are magic in my memories. It's really special to know a bit more about who's in there and feel like we're bonding even more in real ways. We've started thinking about names (I think we've chosen!) and picturing what he'll be like when he's here. We think he already looks pretty cute. We're enamoured.

It still feels surreal to say 'he'! Pretty much everyone we know has girls. I keep saying someone has to break the cycle with each pregnancy announcement but I've been wrong every time for years. I guess I was right though—it was us!

I am really, really excited. I'm going to be a mama to a sweet, sensitive, silly little boy—just like his daddy. Oh, I just can't wait. I never dared to think that would be me but now nothing else seems right at all.

20 Weeks + Gender Guesses

Sorry, friends. I have a confession. I've kind of become obsessed with my stomach. How is it expanding so much? Where is all the new skin coming from? When will it become obvious to strangers? How long will my clothes still fit? I have so many questions. It still feels like my regular ol' belly, except when the little one is bopping me on the inside, which is finally happening with regularity and force! Maybe that's why I'm a little obsessed. Last night I had my hand resting on my stomach as I fell asleep and I felt it from the outside for the first time. What a crazy, crazy feeling. There's a HUMAN inside my body. What?!

Suddenly, we are at the halfway mark! 20ish more weeks to go—long and short all at the same time! The second trimester has been treating me very well so far. I'm not so tired and am feeling like myself, only more confident. I keep talking to women who are in their third trimesters and they all get this wistful look in their eyes when they think about the second. So, I'm trying to savour it! I have been craving ice cream like an out-of-this-world amount. I think about it almost all day. I'm not experiencing any nonsensical aversions anymore and can happily cook again, so I'm fine with having ice cream brain for a while.

Tomorrow we have our anatomy ultrasound(!) and I am so excited just to see our baby looking human and moving all its limbs. This will be Andy's first time seeing it at all, so I'm guessing it's going to be a special time. Hoping and praying that everything is good and healthy and right on track, and that he or she will cooperate so our midwife can tell us the gender later this week so we can stop calling it 'it'! I'm keeping a tally of friends' guesses and am soooo intrigued to find out which it will be. I am undecided. What do you think?

Keep growing big and strong, little one. We love you so much.

18 Weeks

Oh, baby. I can't believe we are at the 18 week mark already. That feels real. Like this is really happening. Sometimes I can't believe that it is—that it's our turn. We are so overjoyed and talk about you constantly. Your daddy is especially excited. He tells everyone he meets. That hurts my heart, but in a good way.

Sometimes I still wonder if you're really in there, even though my belly is blooming and I'm starting to feel tiny nudges here and there. They're faint enough that I'm never totally sure if it's you, but I like the idea that we're starting to communicate a little. I hope I start feeling you move more soon. I can't get enough!

I've been nesting like crazy for over a month. I don't know if that's normal so early on, but I've been on a rampage. I'm so glad to be out of the "feeling so crappy" stage of the first few months that I'm tackling everything that comes into my mind. Purging, sorting, organizing, selling, planning, buying and more and more. There are a lot of changes on the horizon for our little apartment!

In two weeks we get to see you dancing around on the big screen, which means we'll be HALFWAY (how?!), and we get to find out if you're a little boy or girl. I'm so freaking curious! I waffle all day long. No matter which it is, I'm going to be so surprised and so out-of-my-mind happy. We already have names picked out and I'm pretty sure we'll know exactly who you are as soon as we hear from the midwife.

We love you so much, little one. Keep growing big and strong.